MY AIRPORT EXPERIENCE

There was something about the woman that made me look twice. I don't know if it was the glassy sadness in her eyes, or the way her shoulders dropped in defeat, or the deep dark circles under her eyes.
She was staring at three children playing around in the waiting lounge. Her eyes scanned the mother of the children, as though she was comparing herself with the woman, as though she was questioning God about something. The woman made me curious, there was so much sadness emanating from her.
She looked about forty years old. I could tell she was a very rich woman from the way she was dressed. She sat down, legs crossed, lips pouted, straight faced. She looked like a queen. She looked like someone who was trained for royalty, but still she looked incomplete. I didn't know if anyone noticed but I did, it was glaringly obvious that she had a problem. Though everyone at the waiting lounge in the airport looked like they had a problem, hers was different. Was it sickness I thought, was it marital problems. Then I saw her eyes lit when a baby on the mothers shoulder smiled at her. Her eyes lit for a second, for a second it seemed like she was a different person entirely. She smiled so heartily. Then her countenance changed, she remembered something and a heart breaking, mind drenching, brain bursting sadness filled her face. Her eyes glistened with tears. The sadness came back again but this time harder and stronger. I could see her body vibrate in pain. Her hands shook terribly. That moment I caught it, I knew it. I knew the woman was childless. I knew she was barren. I knew the reason why she looked incomplete. I knew the reason why she looked at the mother of the three children with so much envy. She had an emptiness inside her, that emptiness that can only be compared to losing someone you love, that emptiness that can kill you, that emptiness that you can't do anything about no matter how hard you try, that emptiness that won't go away, that emptiness that forces you to cry in public places, that emptiness that makes you give up on life, that emptiness that makes you question God, that emptiness that makes you feel alone.

I wondered how long she had wanted child. I wondered if she had a supportive husband. I wondered if her in-laws were on her neck, I even wondered if her husband married a second wife who has children for him.

I wanted to go talk to her, hug her and tell her everything would alright. But her flight was called, she was going to Abuja, I was going to lagos. As she stood up and walked towards the departure hall. My eyes lingered on her back.
A childless woman is a broken woman. Worse still a childless woman who knows she is the cause of her childlessness.