Monday, January 13, 2014

WHY?

"It's not the same, this is diffferent"

"What's different". She was shaking uncontrollably.

"I love her, Uju. This is not a fling. This is real love."

She stared at him in the eyes. It was almost impossible to recognise this person.

"What are you saying", she collapsed on the bed. "Do you understand anything you are saying at all".

"Uju, you have to calm down. Let's make a plan. Telling you this hurts real bad already. Please don't make this any harder".

The temperature of the room climbed. She felt as though she was freezing. She wanted him to stop talking. If only everything could pause, and be still, and not move.

"What should I do"

"I will take care of you, I will give you money, you can have the house. Please let me follow my heart". He said.

"Ifeanyi, you want to throw away all these. You want to give up ten years for a fling, for lust".

"It's not lust", he retorted.

"It's lust" she screamed "it's lust, it's obsession. You don't love her. She is twenty three, would you love her when she is old, without firm breasts and glowing skin. Would you love her after three kids. Would you love her when there is no good sex".

She was shaking badly.

"I am your stability", she continued "your rock. I am reliable. I loved you when you had no money for cars or beautiful houses. I love you for you. She doesn't".
He held her hands, "I loved you too, Uju. I loved you, but I no longer love you. All I feel for you is affection, but not love".

Pain sliced through her heart. She felt dehydrated, like every drop of liquid in body was congealing, turning ice cold.


"Affection?"

He threw the wardrobe open, grabbed his bag from the corner of the bed, and started throwing his clothes into the bag.

"I will be staying in a hotel for now, till you are calm enough to discuss everything".
She had no words for him. She was speechless. It was unbelievable. One minute her life was perfect. She was cooking, like she did every other afternoon, and the next minute, her husband, the only man she thought she knew, was standing in front of her, looking into her eyes, the eyes he so often said he loved more than anything, and telling her he didn't love her anymore. Instead he loved a girl she was over eleven years older than.
" I would call you", he said as he zipped his bag.
She grabbed the du ve and wrapped it around her body, as she rocked herself.
"I am sorry Uju".
He banged the door, and she felt a jab in her heart. Her breathing was seizing. How could he do this to her. Leave her, like that, with no warning. How did she not see this coming. How did she not read any meaning to his late night calls, his frequent travels, the way he smiled at nothing while looking lost. How didn't she notice that he was taking extra time preening in front of the mirror.
She couldn't cry, rather she was was choking, like a big bone was lodged in her throat.
"God why me? Why me?' were the only words her mouth could form. "Why me?"

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