Women, Sexuality, Men; The truth we hate to think of.

I would love to borrow this long quote:

"We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
'You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man'
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are" - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie


This brings us to the topic; women and their need for male approval.

90% of the time a woman stays in the mirror to preen and look good. She is trying to impress one or several men. She wants to look good so that she can be admired (most of the time in a sexual manner). This isn't something a girl sits down to decide. Somehow it's like that.
Most women expect to be treated differently because they are women. They want to buy favours by batting their eyelashes. They want preferential treatment because they are fine. And, the day a girl would take her time, dress up and apply all the make up she can lay her hands on, and no boy walks up to her and asks for her number, or nobody even admires her, there would be trouble.


So many times a girls self confidence can be measured by the amount of male attention she gets. A girl who isn't naturally too pretty tends to suffer from serious inferiority complex, and one who is fine even though she is dumb, is all puffy and proud because boys tell her she is fine (as if she is God that created herself).





It is the truth that our brain shuts down to. That women have been objectified as sexual beings. No matter how successful you are, there is that heaviness in your back that brings you down to just being a woman, nothing else.
Especially in Nigeria, men here are quick to say 'she is a woman'. That alone is enough to excuse or trivialise anything you do.

There isn't much we can do about this situation. If a woman decides to find her own voice, she is doing an abominable thing. You must come under the canopy of a man. It's what it is. That's the way it has always been. But is that the way it should be?

We are first human beings, before we are women. Before you think 'Ha! She is a woman'. First treat her like a human being. Don't go to a table surrounded by guys, and shake hands with all of them and ignore the lady sitting there too. Because she is a lady or because something in your screwed up head doesn't think she also deserves a hand shake . Not only is it improper, it is disgusting and galling.


Men and women have different roles to play. And for all these roles, God has given us tools to handle them. If a woman tries to play the role of a man, it becomes irritating and vice versa.


Men and women are equal. We were created equal, but just differently. For the people that think that a man is the head of the house. Remember, the head rarely controls the heart.